Saturday, April 16, 2005

How to explain computers to a red necks computer illiterates and other morons

I devised this little way to make red necks come a little closer to understanding computers For years now I have had the unfortunate task of explaining computers to people who have no clue what the parts of a computer are or what thy do. Ever try to ask for directions to some one who don’t speak English? then you know what I mean. That is until I discovered this simple ways to explain it. See most people who don’t understand computers understand other things. Computers can be easily explained you just have to be creative.

Mother Board and CPU: Most of the computers these people have would be considered a 4 cylinder engine wile the newer stuff would be a V8. This trick works really well when selling a new computer to theses people if there a true redneck tell them its like having a Hemi powered Dodge

Hard Drive: This is one of the most hard to explain you can always call it the brain of the operation but by the time you get to this part you might wonder if the person your explaining it to has a brain themselves.

The Internet: Its like Las Vegas if it’s a sin in the bible this is the place to do it

Dial up connection: that dirt trail you drive your four wheel drive on

Broad Band connection: The Daytona 500

Blue Screen Of Death (BSOD) Dale Earnhardt’s last lap at the Daytona 500

USB port: Its just like the cigarette lighter in your truck you can plug anything into them from beer coolers to vacuums

Spammer: Telemarketer

Phisher: That city slicker who wants to con you out of your farm

P2P file sharing: that’s when music and movies are treated like that one girl (every town has that girl)

The RIAA and MPAA: There like the KKK and you’re a black man who is dating a white woman

Virus: that’s what your computer gets from that one girl

Adware / spyware: peeping toms

Instant messaging: Free 900 numbers


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